Christmas is coming. Do you know where your hipsters are?
If not, let me give you some hints: Check the most expensive coffee shop within a 50-mile radius.
No dice? How about the bar that mixes its own bitters and processes transactions on an old-school cash register — the kind that actually goes “cha-ching”?
Actually, never mind finding them. While they’re out having fun, it’s your perfect moment to get their holiday gifts squared away.
And just in case you’re at a loss, we found some affordable hipster gifts to get you started.
14 Gifts Under $25 That Hipsters Totally Won’t Turn Up Their Noses At
You’re probably thinking this list will be unoriginal: all free-range, fair-trade, gluten-free vegan chocolate muffins. But you’re wrong.
Here are 14 hipster Christmas gifts that are totally one of a kind.
1. Suspenders: $9.99
Because everyone knows dressing like a septuagenarian is the easiest way to showcase your youthful style and individualistic thinking.
Bonus: Fun colors!
2. Maple Bacon Anything: $8+
In case you missed it, bacon is seriously having a (long) moment. (Not that it’s not worthy of that attention, I’ll admit. I mean, it’s bacon.)
Add a dash of maple for a sweet and salty juxtaposition, and you’ve got the perfect hipster stocking stuffer.
And don’t worry, there’s no shortage of options: You can find maple bacon coffee ($7.99), maple bacon aioli ($11.99), maple bacon marshmallows ($15, and the bonus addition of bourbon) and even the famed maple bacon donuts (technically cheating at $27, but still).
Guys, there’s even bacon-flavored toothpaste for less than 10 bucks. (No maple in that, though — sugar is bad for your teeth, after all.)
3. This Candle, Which Smells Like All Their Favorite Things: $19.95
Speaking of bacon, check out this bacon-scented candle — which adds coffee and craft beer to the melange.
If hipster heaven had a smell…
4. Polaroid Snap Film: $10+
I mean, it’s not like we all have incredibly tiny, high-tech digital cameras in our pockets at all times or anything.
5. Vinyl Collection Puzzle: $24
Hey, for what it’s worth — this puzzle’s a whole lot cheaper than actually collecting a nascent stack of records.
6. Clothing with Bicycles on It: $25 or less
It’s basically the new “Put a bird on it.”
And fortunately, the internet offers up a variety of affordable bicycle-print options. Check out this silky short-sleeve top — and this dress, which features both a bicycle and a mermaid, and is on sale for $25.
Related: I’m not sure that’s how tails work.
7. Moscow Mule Mugs: $10 or More Each
Even if they have no idea how to make the namesake cocktail they slurp at their favorite speakeasy, hipsters will feel much more comfortable getting shwasty out of these copper mugs.
Even better? This miniature set, which lends even grimace-inducing shots of well vodka a sense of refinement and elevation.
8. A Subscription to Dollar Beard Club: $3+ Per Month
Help him keep his glorious beard shiny, healthy and undeniably hipster-tastic with a subscription to the Dollar Beard Club.
Monthly kits can include beard oil, balm and a variety of other optional add-ons, and start as low as a buck a month (plus shipping). But it’s Christmas, so don’t be stingy. You can’t correctly corral a beard without a sandalwood mustache comb, you know.
9. A Case of La Croix: $4.99+
They’re pretty cheap on Amazon, so you may as well get a couple — mure pepino, anyone? (That’s blackberry cucumber… but don’t worry, your hipster will already know that.)
Or, if you’re feeling especially generous, you could spring for the fancy variety pack ($20.80). The debate about the best flavor is quite heated, so you’ll be helping your favorite hipster get informed.
10. Books — But Only if They’re Pretentious: $25 or less
Even if you know for a fact he’s reading “The Hunger Games” at home, a hipster can never have too many showy tomes to “read” on the train — and populate his Instagram feed with.
11. Ironic T-shirts: $25 or less
Of course Asher never drinks anything but his hometown’s microbrew — but you know he’d rock a PBR T-shirt anyway.
And even though she’ll never own up to her secret love for Drake, Maisie will be 100% on board with the clever shuffle of his lyrics on this sweatshirt. (A sweatshirt! You get it, right? It’s just too much. I can’t even.)
13. Mason Jars: $1 or less at a Thrift Store
This gift is a lifesaver — literally.
If a hipster doesn’t have access to a mason jar, she’ll simply wither away from dehydration. Other drinking vessels baffle them.
… Except for copper mugs.
14. Extra-Expensive Temporary Tattoos: $20
Everyone knows commitment isn’t really millennials’ thing.
So why not give the gift of looking edgy without the associated pain, expense or, yes, serious decision-making required for a real tattoo?
Come on. It’s not like they were really going to get an original design anyway.
Your Turn: What will you gift the least-annoying hipster in your life?
Jamie Cattanach is a staff writer at The Penny Hoarder who will admit that she’s kind of a hipster — and yeah, she would totally wear that Drake sweatshirt. Find @JamieCattanach on Twitter to wave hello.