29 Very Real Thoughts We’ve All Definitely Had While Grocery Shopping
Grocery shopping is one of those things you either love or hate.
And I tend to hate it.
I always have to squeeze the necessary chore into my evenings, which I’d rather spend on my couch with my cat. And I always, always forget what I went for, which requires me to return that same night or the following day.
The worst part is when I run into someone I know — or knew. It’s always when I’m the least presentable, and I just imagine them telling their family later on: “Wow. She’s really gone downhill. You wouldn’t believe it.”
I was just trying to get some bread and milk. Jeeze.
29 Thoughts You’ve Probably Had While at the Grocery Store
To capture the never-ending frustration that is the grocery store, I put together a list of very real thoughts that run through my (or my co-workers’) heads while slogging through the cold aisles.
- Cart or basket, cart or basket? Basket. It’ll encourage me to buy less.
- Mmmm… that fried chicken smells so good. Nope. Focus. Vegetables.
- Shoot. I forgot my shopping list again. Let’s see what I can regurgitate…
- Why does every grocery store put the bakery next to the produce? Yes, I’ll take freshly baked carrot cake over carrots any day.
- I’m not a kid, nor do I have one, but can I get one of those free cookies? Please? I’ve had a rough day.
- Gosh, why do I always fail to eat before grocery shopping? Even that cantaloupe looks appetizing…
- Why didn’t I just get a cart? I always need a cart.
- Did I go to high school with that kid?
- Yup. I didn’t need anything in the aisle anyways…
- Oh, I love this song! *starts dancing*
- What ever happened to those coupon machines we played with as kids?
- Are rice cakes actually this expensive? They’re basically cardboard…
- Why in the heck am I paying $22 a gallon for goat’s milk?
(OK, let me explain that one. I polled my co-workers about thoughts they have while at the grocery store. One of our web developers confessed this one, and we’ll forever be wondering why he pays $22 a gallon for goat’s milk, too.)
- Ugh, seriously? Why do I see everyone I know when I don’t put on real clothes?
- Crap. The only two coupons I managed to cut are sitting on the kitchen counter.
- *Hides in vacant aisle and takes out phone* Time to search Ibotta for some cash-back offers.
- Hmm… I wonder how long I’m going to have to wait for someone tall to come help me reach this jar of peanut butter?
- Related: Why do they stock back pain medicine on the bottom shelf?
- WHY CAN I NEVER FIND THE HONEY?!
- How am I going to fit all these BOGO frozen pizzas in my freezer?
- Note to self: Remember to wear a bra the next time I venture down the frozen food aisles…
- Hmm… which checkout line is going to be the fastest? I’ll race this woman.
- Is this man in front of me really buying $800 worth of groceries? (This actually happened to me once. I had two items in my hand.)
- Now he’s going to argue about this expired coupon?
- HE’S WRITING A CHECK?!
- CRAP. I forgot my reusable bags again. I’m an awful human. Please don’t judge me.
- Why, yes, I’d love help out to the car. In fact, can you just come home with me and put these groceries away for me, too?
- *Walking out the door* Crap. I forgot to get my prescription. That’s why I came here in the first place.
- I guess I’ll come back tomorrow.
7 Ways to Avoid These Uncomfortable Feelings
OK, I probably sound like a crazy person at this point, but honestly, the grocery store is a pretty lousy place to spend your evening.
But do you have any other choice?
You do, actually.
There are tons of ways to order your groceries and get them delivered right to your door. Plus, you can save tons of money by doing this if you use the right platform.
Let me break down a few online grocery options for you.
1. Go Organic with Thrive Market
If you opt for organic, Thrive Market might be your new best friend. You can shop through its site or through its app.
The online grocery store offers only organic, healthy products — from Justin’s almond butter to essential oils. They’re all discounted, too, so you can save a good bit of money.
If you haven’t experienced Thrive yet, you can get a 30-day free trial through this link and 20% off your first three orders. After that, you’ll pay $59.95 for a full year, which helps Thrive keep prices down and pass on the organic savings to you.
Thrive members report saving an average $200 a year — a pretty good deal for a healthier diet! If you don’t make your membership fee back in savings by the end of the year, Thrive automatically gives you the difference in Thrive Market credit after you renew.
2. Add More Items to Your Cart With Jet
This online shopping platform is fun because the more you add to your cart, the more discounts you get. You just need to know when to stop…
We put together a hypothetical cart for you here. You’ll see all the discounts you can get on essentials, including nearly $6 off Folgers coffee.
Shipping is free if your order is over $35.
3. Go Bulky With Sam’s Club
If you like to buy in bulk, look into ordering groceries from Sam’s Club.
Peruse a number of categories from fresh or organic food to barbecue must-haves. You can opt to pick the groceries up in store or have them delivered to your door via UPS or FedEx.
Remember, you’ll need to have a membership, which is $35 a year.
4. Amazon Sells Everything, Duh
It’s no surprise that Amazon is already dominating the grocery business (even before this takeover of Whole Foods).
Navigate over to Amazon Fresh, where you can search for anything and everything — even fresh produce and deli meat.
Sure, it’s convenient, but it’ll also cost you a pretty penny. You’ll have to pay for a Prime membership if you don’t have one already (psst… here’s a discount) as well as Amazon Fresh, an additional $14.99 per month. In total, that’ll be $25.98 a month.
The service is only available in select cities now, so stay tuned if you’re willing to splurge.
5. Pick Up Your Groceries from Walmart
Do your grocery shopping online through Walmart Grocery. Then, schedule your pick-up time.
Yeah, yeah… you’ll have to leave the house and go to Walmart for this option, but you don’t have to leave your car if you don’t want; someone will load the groceries for you.
Find out if Walmart Grocery is available in your area. If not, other grocery stores are adopting this practice, so just look into your regional favorite.
6. Try a Food-Delivery Kit
If groceries aren’t your thing, period, and you can’t afford to hire a personal cook, try a food-delivery kit like Hello Fresh.
You can opt in for three, four or five meals a week. You’ll get a box of the farm-fresh ingredients right to your door. Then, all you’ve got to do is whip it up. (It comes with specific directions, so don’t panic.)
You can get $35 off your first order.
Not into HelloFresh? We tried (and compared) a few other food delivery kits, too.
7. Get Your Prescriptions Delivered to Your Door
Honestly, thought No. 28 is me all the time. And there’s no way you can run to the market down the road or just get it tomorrow if your prescription ran out.
You’ve got to go back, and you’ll probably have to wait in line.
However, prescription delivery services are becoming more and more popular. Using a site like Phil allows you to not only compare prices but it also alleviates the pain of going back and forth between your pharmacy, doctor and insurance company.
Then, you’ll get your prescriptions when you need them right to your door — with free delivery.
If you want to give the service a try, you can get $20 off your first order now.
Now, you can stop worrying about running into that long lost love you’d hoped you’d never see again or getting stuck behind that guy who won’t give up on checks already…
Carson Kohler (@CarsonKohler) is a junior writer at The Penny Hoarder. Her favorite part of going to the grocery store is leaving it.