What the Last Day Is Like if You Don’t Have Power to Cancel Trump’s Twitter

Two young men hug in the office.
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Whether you resigned or got fired, your last day at work is usually a hot mess.

If you’re leaving on a happy note, you spend the day saying tearful goodbyes.

But when things don’t work out that way, it’s tempting to cook up a scheme that sends you off with a bang. (Things like that usually backfire, though, so don’t try it.)

Either way, many of us have the same thoughts on our last day of work. How many of these have crossed your mind?

10 Things We All Think on Our Last Day of Work

  1. How much coffee can I leave with before it’s considered a misdemeanor?

  1. Do I need to bring back all the pens I’ve borrowed over the last four years?


  1. Now I don’t have to keep pretending I like Carol’s bran muffins.


  1. I sure won’t miss this smelly elevator.

  1. I hope IT doesn’t find out I never changed my work email password as often as they told me to.

  1. Carrying all my stuff to the car in this cardboard box makes it look like I got fired. I resigned, I swear!

  1. It’s going to take me forever to update my LinkedIn profile, resume, email address, work phone number everywhere. On second thought, maybe I won’t leave.

  1. I’ve sat in my office chair so long that it’s perfectly shaped to my butt. I wonder if they’ll let me take it home?

  1. I hope I remembered to throw out that hot dog I left in the break room fridge.

  1. I’m not gonna cry, I’m not gonna cry, I’m not gonna cry… DARN IT!

Lisa McGreevy is a staff writer at The Penny Hoarder. Editorial assistant Jessica Gray, who makes really good muffins, collaborated with her on this post.

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