11 Free Budget Motel Amenities That Always Make Us Feel Like Rock Stars

woman looking out window in hotel room
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Luxury hotel amenities have apparently reached peak “Really?!”

A recent New York Times Travel Tip column highlights the top of the top-shelf amenities you can enjoy at luxury hotels. From complimentary happy hour to free fitness classes to a house car (a Bentley or Tesla please, thanks), these amenities seem a little… shall we say, ambitious.

“Most St. Regis hotels, for example, saber a bottle of Champagne every evening in their lobby bars and offer a glass to guests who are present for the ritual,” Shivani Vora writes.

“Your hotel’s gym is likely to offer free bottled water and fruit; some gyms even have free juices and trail mixes.”

I’m sorry, which hotel gyms are these New York Times readers frequenting? Why are they nicer than the gym I actually pay to use back home?

11 Budget Hotel Amenities to Savor

Just because you travel on a budget doesn’t mean you need to sacrifice amenities. After all, luxury is in the eye of the beholder, right?

Don’t forget about these amazing hotel amenities you can find at even the most modest of inns:

  1. Use the toilet paper.
  1. Catch up on your reading. Don’t thank your hotel; thank the Gideons.
  1. Stop by for continental breakfast promptly when it begins at 6 a.m. Then visit again around 9:30 a.m. for a snack. Maybe even a snack to go, if you’re wearing cargo shorts. Oversized snap pockets: finally useful.
  1. Sit on the fine upholstery in the lobby. Bounce around a little. Look like a regular. Heckle people checking in.
  1. Take every last complimentary toiletry item home with you.
  1. Turn on all the lamps in your room. The electricity is free!
  1. Need some fresh air? Stand in the parking lot.
  1. The “fitness center” is free, too; 27.5 laps around the hotel equals a mile.
  1. Oh, your hotel doesn’t offer a complimentary happy hour? Well, you have an ice bucket. Fill it. Hit up the packie. Call your friends. Tell them it’s OK to use some of your toilet paper.
  1. If your hotel doesn’t have a house car or bicycles, hop on the housekeeping cart and go for a ride. You might get all the way to the elevator!
  2. If you didn’t get a choice between USA Today and The Wall Street Journal (sigh), stop by the front desk to ask if they got the newspaper. Any newspaper. Flip to the funnies. Rip out the crossword puzzle. Walk away. It’s your puzzle to conquer now.

If you need me, I’ll be waiting out front for my loaner Bentley.

Lisa Rowan is a writer and producer at The Penny Hoarder.