For the first 20 years of your life, you can’t wait to be a grown-up and do whatever you want.
Then when you get there, you realize it’s a lot harder than it looks.
To my fellow millennials masquerading as adults, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
1. When you buy a bunch of healthy groceries… but are too tired to cook when you get home — and order Chinese instead.
What do they put in lo mein anyway? That stuff is noodle crack.
2. When you finally get a car that starts… but can’t afford the insurance on it.
True story: Insurance for halfway-decent cars ain’t cheap. Check rates here before that fancy new insurance totally drains your bank account.
3. When you get around to doing laundry… and don’t realize you’re out of quarters ‘til you’re at the laundromat.
Think you’re going to clean off the clothes chair? (Yeah, you know the one.) Think again.
4. When you decide to give up watching “The Bachelor” and other trashy reality shows… and miss them way more than you should.
Those Netflix documentaries are cool and all, but a life without Chris Harrison’s weekly wisdom is not a life I’m interested in.
5. When you’re excited to tell your parents about your promotion… but all they do is ask when you’re getting married.
I’m trying to be an independent woman and focus on my career right now, mom! And no, I totally didn’t take a box of wine into bed with me last night.
6. When you splurge on a totally grown-up looking outfit… and spill coffee on it the first time you wear it.
Every. Single. Time.
7. When you decide you’re mature enough to be friends with your ex on FB… and see he has a hot new girlfriend.
Because, you know, you’re better off without him. At least that’s what your friends keep telling you.
8. When you check your bank account… and your balance is in the quadruple digits.
9. When you buy an iron because you want to look professional… but get lazy and use shower steam to get wrinkles out instead.
Go ahead, judge me — ‘cept you can’t, because you’ll never know the difference!
10. When you spend hours browsing recipes on Pinterest… and still have no clue what to cook for dinner.
Maybe I’ll just microwave some cheese and beans on a tortilla… or eat peanut butter straight out of the jar.
11. When you decide to start saving for retirement… and then realize how far behind you are.
Sit down before you use one of those retirement calculators. They’re terrifying.
12. When you keep forgetting to buy soap… and wash your body with shampoo for weeks on end.
13. When you’re single AF and know you should be out meeting people… but would rather be on your couch with a bottle of wine.
I mean, are you really going to meet the love of your life at Taco Tuesday?
14. When you finally do work up the energy to go to the club… and are way overwhelmed by the crush of young, half-clad bodies.
All I want to do is get to the bathroom without someone spilling a drink or sweating on me.
15. When you buy a set of that stuff your mom calls “tableware”… and end up using paper plates and plastic forks instead.
16. When you get an interview for your dream job… and they ask what your “10-year plan” is.
As in a decade? I’ll be almost 40 then — and who the heck knows what 40-year-olds do!?
Your Turn: What’s your biggest #adulting struggle?
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Susan Shain, senior writer for The Penny Hoarder, is always seeking adventure on a budget. Visit her blog at susanshain.com, or say hi on Twitter @susan_shain.