The Lazy Person’s Guide to Making and Saving Money for Doing Almost Nothing
Here’s a thing about me: I’m lazy.
Really, really lazy.
I know what you’re thinking: Wow, what a surprise.
But that’s not all! You see, I’m exceptionally lazy. Supremely lazy. I’m a laziness expert, a scholar, a connoisseur of laziness. Look up “lazy” in the dictionary, and there’s a little picture of me napping.
If it were up to me, I’d be lying on a beach in Bali, sipping on strong cocktails with little umbrellas in them, reading trashy paperbacks while servants hand-feed me shrimp and strawberries.
Alas, that is not my life.
Like so many of you, I have a job, spouse, kids, mortgage, car payment, bills, debt. I’m working my little tushy off, here. All of this financial pressure and work ethic really interfere with my laziness.
But because I’m lazy, I’ve learned how to put my finances on autopilot. I seek out apps and tools that help me make and save money with as little effort on my part as possible.
With a few clicks of a mouse or a few swipes on your phone, you’re done forever. You’re all set. Time to kick back and relax.
Check out these super lazy ways to make money:
1. Don’t Bother Tracking Prices
It turns out that deleting your emails could be costing you serious money. Intrigued?
My new secret weapon is called Paribus — a tool that gets you money back for your online purchases. It’s free to sign up for Paribus. Once you do, it will scan your email archives for any receipts. If it discovers you’ve purchased something from Target or one of the other retailers listed on its website, it will track the item’s price. Once a price drop is detected, Paribus engages with the retailer on your behalf, requesting a refund – automatically!
You don’t have to do anything!
If something shows up late, Paribus will help you get money back for what you paid for shipping — up to a full shipping refund.
2. Don’t Bother Keeping Track of Your Credit Score
Let Credit Sesame handle that. You have other things to do.
This free service shows your credit score and explains it to you. It shows your balances on any unpaid bills, credit cards or loans. It offers personalized tips on reducing your debt and raising your credit score.
3. Relax with Digital, Virtual Scratch-Off Tickets
Man, that was a lot of work! I’m exhausted. Time to embrace my laziness again.
Hello laziness, my old friend.
Now that you’ve digested all that information, reward yourself with some scratch-off tickets. You don’t even have to leave the house. Check out this free app called Lucktastic. Each day, it releases a new assortment of digital scratch-off tickets.
Instant wins range from $1 to $10K. You can also earn tokens, enter contests and play games.
The app is free to download — and play.
4. Don’t Lift a Finger to Get Cash Back
That’s what Dosh is for. It’s a new cash-back app that pays you for making purchases at more than 100,000 hotels, online stores and restaurants — including Starwood Properties, Marriott, Cost Plus World Market, Nike, Target, Chuck E. Cheese’s and more.
Here’s all you have to do:
- Download the app and sign up.
- Connect a debit or credit card. You collect an immediate $5 bonus for doing this.
- Live your life and watch the cash-back roll in.
5. Get Paid for Walking Into Stores
Actually going shopping? Download the Shopkick app first.
Once you sign up, the app pays you “kicks” for walking into certain stores (including Amazon, Walmart, T.J. Maxx, Starbucks, Sephora, Best Buy and more). These can be redeemed for gift cards to those stores.
It pays you even more “kicks” for scanning items in stores and purchasing them with a connected credit or debit card, as well as for scanning receipts and mobile shopping.
6. Don’t Worry About Saving Money
Acorns makes it easy for you to save without ever thinking about it.
Once you connect it to a debit or credit card, this “micro-investing” app rounds your purchases up to the nearest dollar and funnels your digital change into a savings or investment account.
Because the money comes out in increments of less than $1, you’re less likely to feel an impact in your bank account. (With just a tiny little bit more work, you can also set it up so it doesn’t round up every single purchase.)
Oh, and you get a $10 sign-up bonus.
7. Don’t Worry About Cutting Your Monthly Bills
Trim will do that for you. It’s a Facebook Messenger bot that will negotiate your cable or internet bills down. It works with Comcast, Time Warner, Charter and other major providers.
You sign up with Facebook, then upload a PDF of your most recent bill, and Trim’s AI-powered system gets to work. If at first it doesn’t succeed, it’ll keep negotiating until it can save you some money. (If it saves you any money, it keeps 25% of the savings tab.)
8. Never Go to the Pharmacy Again
I hate going to the pharmacy to pick up prescriptions. Too often it’s a hassle. It’s work, and you know I’m opposed to work.
Hey, I’m not alone here. Nearly half of Americans are taking prescription pills. But we consumers are forced to manage the hassles of multiple prescriptions all by ourselves. Because of the difficulties, as many as 20% of us aren’t consistently filling our ’scripts.
Have Phil do the heavy lifting for you. This online prescription delivery service takes on the hassles of coordinating with pharmacies, doctors and insurance providers — even filling out paperwork. You pay nothing more than your usual copays, and delivery is free.
You can get up to $30 off your first order, too.
9. Let This Bot Optimize Your 401(k)
Retirement accounts are complicated. That’s where Blooom will help you out. It’s an investment advisory firm that optimizes and monitors your 401(k).
Enter your information into its system: your name, age and when you hope to retire. Connect your 401(k) account.
Within a few minutes, you get a free 401(k) “health report,” which tells you what’s going well and what needs improvement. Are you paying too many fees? Is your mix of stocks and bonds not properly allocated for your age?
If you want Blooom to take over, you can opt in for a $10-per-month service. Within a few hours, Blooom will reconfigure your 401(k) without you doing a thing. Better yet, it keeps an eye on it from then on.
Time to kick back and chill out. You’ve earned it.
Mike Brassfield (email@example.com) is a senior writer at The Penny Hoarder. He works a lot, but he wishes he could be super lazy, instead.