This Wedding Guest Gave $145… and the Newlyweds Asked for More Money
Today in “weddings are the worst” news, a blatant cash grab has us fired up.
A message-board thread that’s been read around the world shares the uncomfortable aftermath of what was probably a lovely, joyous wedding celebration.
The original poster (OP) attended an ex-colleague’s wedding, for which the happy couple requested cash gifts. The OP wrote a check for 100 pounds (about $145 USD), but afterward received this email from the couple:
“We were surprised that your contribution didn’t seem to match the warmth of your good wishes on our big day. In view of your own position, if you wanted to send any adjustment it would be thankfully received.”
This is Why We Don’t Talk about Money
The OP — appropriately named “Puzzledandpissedoff” — asked for advice, revealing that the reference to “your own position” in the email likely implied the recent inheritance they had received.
We talk about money more than ever: How we don’t have enough, how we’re trying to scrimp and save for a better future. We’re not afraid to share the amazing bargain we got at the grocery store or online.
But money is still a taboo topic.
When I wrote about my huge, unexpected tax bill, I second-guessed admitting that money I had received from my family was a major reason I could pay the bill without altering my lifestyle.
Maybe an ex-coworker shouldn’t have known about this person’s inheritance. Or maybe, after countless hours spent together in the office (and probably countless hours dealing with estate paperwork), the OP felt comfortable discussing finances.
And now, that openness has turned into a guilt-trip from an entitled newlywed.
“It’s unlikely I’ll bump into the [bride and groom] much in the future as I’m retired now, which is probably just as well,” the OP updated after hundreds of supportive comments from the crowd.
So, how did the OP respond to the email?
With a simple, one-line question: “I assume this was some sort of mistake?”
This Situation Gives Weddings a Bad Name
In the age of an anything-goes nuptial celebrations, this cash grab makes weddings look bad.
In light of crazy-expensive, peer pressure-induced wedding costs, intimate tiny weddings are in vogue. Some couples ask for modest contributions toward wedding costs instead of gifts.
One of my friends asked for volunteers to bring homemade pies to her wedding for the dessert table — who doesn’t like homemade pie?!
But weddings still run the greed gamut. For every home-made, DIY, budget wedding, there’s a traditionalist who just sees dollar signs at the end of the night.
Yes, wedding celebrations were designed to set up the happy couple for financial success in their new life together.
But simple gratitude goes a long way, and every penny counts.
I’m glad the OP is keeping any additional cash in their pocket, instead of giving it to these dummies.
Your Turn: How would you respond to this post-wedding cash grab?
Lisa Rowan is a writer, editor and podcaster living in Washington, D.C.