46 (Kinda) Ridiculous Things Only True Penny Hoarders Will Admit to Doing

dollar bills hanging on line
Carmen Mandato/The Penny Hoarder
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Who here is a Penny Hoarder?

Raise your hands.

Well, I have news for you. All those money-saving behaviors you catch yourself doing — you know, the ones that elicit heavy eye rolls from your partner, or sighs from the person behind you in the checkout line — well some folks don’t consider those practices 100% “normal.”

(But also… what’s normal nowadays?)

Stick with me while I do my best Jeff Foxworthy of Finance impression.

You might be a true Penny Hoarder if…

  1. You secretly wish the person checking out in front of you at Target would slow down so you can have an extra minute to scan your items in the Target app to check for savings.
  1. You find a quiet spot in the back of the grocery store so you can scroll through Ibotta and make sure you haven’t missed any cash-back opportunities.
  1. You plan your family holiday visit around the cheapest dates to fly.
  1. You know which dates are cheapest to fly because you’ve been tracking fares on Hopper or Google Flights for months now.
  1. You walk straight to the clearance section of any store. And no wandering. You know right where to go. (Nope, you don’t even so much as glance Target’s dollar section because you know whatever you want will end up costing $5.)
  1. You rush to pile your groceries on the checkout belt at the grocery store so you can get to the receipt screen to make sure the computer catches all your BOGO deals and registers all your coupons.
  1. You assume that because you missed Free Museum Day, you’ll have to just wait another year for the opportunity to visit.
  1. You spend the entire month of October scouring thrift stores for the pieces to a perfect Halloween costume, because you refuse to spend $60 on a cheap, generic costume.
  1. You think free food tastes so, so good.
  1. You determine your date-night outing based on where you can get money back through the Dosh app.
  1. You know what “Swagbucks” are. (If you don’t, read the guide to be one of us.)
  1. You understand that incredible floating feeling that occurs when you dig up a real gem at T.J. Maxx or HomeGoods.
  1. You don’t hesitate to call retailers to get a refund because that two-day shipping you opted for turned into three days. Or you’re ahead of the game and just use Paribus.
  1. You cut open your lotion bottles, makeup containers and condiment containers to get every. last. drop.
  1. You won’t let anyone throw or give away their belongings until you’ve had a chance to determine if you can use them — or sell them on Letgo.
  1. You cut the cord. (And you realize this doesn’t have to do with childbirth.)
  1. You cash out on any relevant class-action lawsuits, even if you’ll only get $2 in the mail. Totally worth it.
  1. You don’t hesitate to return expired food to the grocery store.
  1. Your banking app is the first icon on your phone’s home screen.
  1. You check your credit score perhaps a little too often. (But, really, is that such a thing?!)
  1. You search for coupons on Ebates before you buy anything online.
  1. You’ve spent hours watching videos just to score a dollar on InboxDollars.
  1. You order a large pizza for yourself then eat the leftovers throughout the week because, according to math, it’s cheaper that way. Plus, it’s pizza.
  1. You have a side gig.
  1. You have a side gig with UberEats, and you’re always tempted to sneak a french fry out of the customer’s to-go box. But you don’t. Instead, you just secretly hope they won’t answer the door so you can just have it all to yourself.
  1. You refuse to believe your utility bill is that expensive, so you send it off to BillShark because you know they’ll negotiate it for you.
  1. You enjoy investing. As long as it’s the micro-type.
  1. You don’t hesitate to pay for something with a discounted gift card you snagged off Raise.
  1. You pay with a credit card — but only so you can earn points.
  1. You’ve rummaged through the trash to find an old receipt because you’re not missing out on any cash-back offers from Ibotta.
  1. You always ask about student discounts, even if you did graduate five years ago… Shhh
  1. You’ve taken an online survey to earn 50 cents.
  1. You’ve participated in a clinical trial.
  1. You once canceled a margarita order at the bar after realizing it didn’t serve the Ibotta-approved tequila. What’s the point, if you can’t get cash back?
  1. You’ve walked into Target, filled your cart with miscellaneous goods, then retraced your steps, put each one back on the shelf and quietly left.
  1. You celebrate Christmas with your S/O on Jan. 25 so you have a chance to hit up those after-Christmas sales.
  1. You have four different razors stacked on the side of your tub because they were all a dollar.
  1. You realize mystery shopping doesn’t require you to dress up as a detective.
  1. You choose your bank account based on bonuses.
  1. You save the boxes to anything tech-related because you know it’ll increase the item’s resale value when you go to sell it on Decluttr.
  1. You refuse to buy raspberries this week because you’re bitter you missed last week’s two-for-one sale.
  1. You look forward to the holidays mostly because you know folks will leave town and need a pet sitter. (Hey, leave the kids behind, too. That’s fine. You’ve got it. Just pay me more.)
  1. You aren’t afraid to claim a freebie — no matter what it is — online.
  1. You are a big fan of warehouse clubs and will never buy toilet paper anywhere else.
  1. You know the difference between being frugal and being cheap. Yes, there’s a big difference.
  1. You pick up any stray pennies on the sidewalk — even if they’re face down and look like they were minted in 1910.

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Carson Kohler (@CarsonKohler) is a junior writer at The Penny Hoarder. She’s able to tick off nearly every item on this list — except the stray pennies one. She just really doesn’t like germs.

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