In her quest to entertain and educate her audience on the new show she considers the college education she never had, host and comedian Chelsea Handler welcomed Khaled as her chief financial correspondent this week.
Curious about the financial advice you’ll get from someone who thinks stolen credit card information is a funny spoof?
So were we.
Unlike the life advice he offers to Snapchat followers, Khaled isn’t doling out money tips on his own.
Instead, Handler apparently pegged him as the perfect man to garner nuggets of wisdom from the experts.
Either that, or she thinks it’s hilarious to watch him try.
In Wednesday’s episode, Khaled sat down with entrepreneur and wealth advisor Jeremy Office and shared these Major Keys…
🔑1. Money Never Sleeps
“Is it true that money don’t sleep?” Khaled begins.
“Money never sleeps,” the adviser responds plainly.
🔑2. Stay Away from “They”
“Stay away from any kind of get-rich-quick schemes,” Office warns upfront, confirming the Major Key Khaled describes as “stay away from ‘they.’”
“When you see ‘they,’ run,” Khaled adds. “Exit the building fast.”
Wait, who’s “they”?
“’They’ is that one person in the room when you get a raise, then that one person in the corner be like, ‘Man, I hate that person,’” he explained recently on “The Ellen Show.”
“’They’ are the people who don’t believe in you, that say you won’t succeed, so we stay away from ‘They’.”
So, maybe it’s not quite the interpretation Office was aiming for. But both men offer sound advice for success.
🔑3. Secure Your Bag
“What’s the 4-1-1 on the 401(k)s?” Khaled asks.
As Office explains, a retirement plan used to be a guaranteed reward for loyalty to your employer. Companies used to set up pensions and continue to pay you throughout retirement.
Now, more often, you have to take charge of your own retirement plan.
🔑4. Weather the Storm
When it comes to investing for beginners, Khaled wonders, “Is a bond a good investment?”
Because the government ostensibly promises to repay them, bonds are safe, Office says.
But “in terms of long-term growth, that’s an individual choice,” the adviser carefully adds, suggesting your money might have a better chance for growth in other types of investments.
And, he points out, “life isn’t linear.”
Khaled clarifies, “Life is like an elevator: up, down, up down…”
You want to end on a high, but you also have to be prepared for the lows.
🔑5. Don’t Ever Play Yourself
At the beginning of the segment, Office says the first way you can avoid “play[ing] yourself” is to avoid greed.
“Greed kills everything,” he says.
Use money as a tool to achieve your goals — not as the end goal.
“Associate yourself with people who are well-balanced,” he adds. Keep positive energy around you to achieve work-life balance.
“I keep flowers (and) certain types of candles around me,” Khaled says, by way of example.
“It was palpable,” Office says of the positive energy in the room.
And you can “smell success from the candles,” Khaled points out.
🔑6. Do Business With People You Like and Trust
The segment winds down with these pieces of rapid-fire advice from Office:
“Really know your craft,” Office says. Understand what you’re investing in.
Office says investing is a long race. “If you think you’re going to invest money in the market tomorrow, and you’re going to get rich the day after, this is not the game for you,” he explains.
“If it seems too good to be true, it is,” Office confirms.
And another one…
Office closes with a final Major Key: “Do business with people who you like and you trust.”
Financial Advice for Chelsea Handler
After the segment, Khaled joins Handler on set to be sworn in as her chief financial correspondent and promise to uphold the responsibilities of the position.
He also shares a few more pieces of financial advice with the host and live audience. He even gets into Handler’s personal finances.
“I support a lot of people in my family,” Handler asks. “Do you think that’s a good thing to do, or should I just cut them off — later this afternoon?”
Khaled, in all seriousness, says you should take care of your family no matter what, especially your mother and father. But everybody else, “while you help them, make sure you help them to help themselves, too.”
You may be generous, but you shouldn’t train people to lean on you.
“Yes, support and help,” he said, “but at the same time, educate them to get money.” They’re going to need it.
Because, as he says in the intro to his segment:
“It costs (money) to eat.
“It costs for mortgages.
“It costs for water.
“We have no choice — secure your bag.”
And, of course, they close out the interview with a Snapchat-streamed rap… from Handler.
Your Turn: Will you tune in for financial advice from DJ Khaled?
Dana Sitar (@danasitar) is a staff writer at The Penny Hoarder. She’s written for Huffington Post, Entrepreneur.com, Writer’s Digest and more, attempting humor wherever it’s allowed (and sometimes where it’s not).