Searching for Your Dream Job? Here Are Some We Hope Exist One Day
Gone are the days when job titles had to be stiff, stodgy and formal.
More and more companies are embracing the chance to get playful, creating fun job titles that sound too good to be true. Don’t believe me?
A resort in the Bahamas announced an opening for a new CFO — a Chief Flamingo Officer, that is. Moe’s Southwest Grill hired a Chief Taco Officer to travel the country and spread the Tex-Mex love on the company dime. Mattress Firm recently created the ultimate dream job when they opened the search for a “snoozetern,” who will be paid to test out mattresses at the company’s BEDQuarters.
Even our favorite ex-boy band member has gotten in on the creative job action. When he’s not crooning on stage, Justin Timberlake serves at the Chief Flavor Officer at Bai Brands, a beverage startup he invested in. And that ain’t no lie.
While you might want to dismiss this trend as silly, creative job titles do actually have their benefits. A 2014 study shows that fun job titles are an effective way to boost morale and employee performance.
Energized team members who take pride in their job titles will cultivate a fun company culture, too.
Whimsical job titles can also help boost recruitment. I mean, who isn’t going to stop and apply for the role of Chief Taco Officer?
Since it’s Friday and we like to have fun here at The Penny Hoarder, we came up with some job titles we’d like to see. But don’t start prepping your resume and drafting cover letters just yet, because they’re all fake.
Dream Job Titles We’d Actually Like to See
I asked The Penny Hoarder staff what fake dream jobs they’d like to have. Here are some of the top contributions.
Spoiler alert: a lot of them are food-related. Can you blame us?
Chief Tasting Officer, Red Wine Division
The best part about this fake job is the implication that other divisions would exist. White Wine Division, Champagne Division and — my personal favorite — the Rosé Division.
Chief Reading Officer
Mystery, Romance, Fantasy, Historical Fiction, Nonfiction… pick your poison. As Chief Reading Officer, it’s up to you to read all the books.
Chief Napping Officer
Everything needs quality control. And that includes naps.
Beach Drink Pairing Tester
What drink goes best with the beach you’re currently lounging on? Let the Beach Drink Pairing Tester decide for you.
Office Snack Taste Tester
Someone has to make sure those Chobani yogurts, Babybels and Uncrustables are still good, right?
Resident Playlist Maker
The right song can make or break you. Imagine if John Cusack held up the boombox and “The Cha Cha Slide” came out instead of “In Your Eyes”. Those of us who grew up making endless mixtapes were born for this role.
Chief Lamborghini Test Driver
I wouldn’t be surprised if this job actually exists. At least one lucky person surely has to make sure the Lambos are in tip-top shape.
Chief Horse-Brushing Officer, Speciality in Mane-Braiding
Horse girls everywhere, rejoice. This would truly be the ultimate dream job.
Lead Brownie QA Taste Tester
Corner, middle or edge piece? Nuts or no nuts? The Lead Brownie QA Taste Tester would have to try them all. Le sigh.
Chief Online Shopper
This is just an excuse to have zero self control. And that sounds awesome. *Add to cart*
Hotel Room Service Tester
Lounge around in a fluffy hotel robe, wait for food to be brought to you and get paid for it? Sign me up.
Chief Tailgate Officer
Someone has to make sure the hot dogs are grilled to perfection and the generator has enough juice to last through the whole game. Just remember: With great power comes great responsibility.
Chief of Staff, Lead Cat-Petter
This role sounds amazing — but also a little dangerous. You never know when a cat will suddenly grow tired of your petting and turn on you. Pro tip: avoid the stomach.
Chief “Finally Time to Read All of Those Articles I Bookmarked” Officer
Not going to lie, I relate to this one on a deeply personal level. And I’m sure others with a mile-long bookmark tab feel the same way.
Kaitlyn Blount is a Creator of Money-Themed Articles at The Penny Hoarder. She’d combine Chief Reading Officer with Hammock-Tester-In-Chief to make the ultimate dream job: Get paid to lounge in a hammock with a good book. For research purposes, of course.